Don’t live someone else lie

Nowadays, it is hard to ignore the noise of social media. One simple swipe or click will lead to someone else life on the best display. Single parent struggles with it too. Everyone posts nice pictures of themselves and their possessions on social media. It is like advertisement at its best. We are all naturally comparing with others (even to someone who we don’t even know). The picture perfect life that leads us to envy and jealous.

As a single mom, I found myself struggle with the comparison thoughts once in awhile. Specially during my son’s 4th birthday, most of his classmates have the same or close birthday with him. He got invited to many birthday parties back to back (even three in the same month). Each one was special with theme party at the local party centers, and museum. They were all very special and excited with a heavy price tag. Not a single kids in his class had a birthday party at home. As single mom (without child support), I found myself toasted and turned many nights because of his birthday party. I looked at my monthly budget to find ways to cut down expenses. Even if I cut down the food expenses, it won’t be enough for a few hundred dollars for 2 hours birthday party at the local center. I was frustrated.

After many weeks of planning, I asked my kid about his plan for the birthday party. He said that he wanted to go to Olive Garden for his birthday and a few toys. It took my breath away for a moment. All the worries and frustrations were for nothing. My kid wanted a simple birthday with his mommy. No big bouncy house or expensive swimming pool party at the local gym. My son wanted a nice dinner and some toys that I could get at Target. my son thought me a value lesson that day. He didn’t envy or jealous at his friends parties. He had his own version of a perfect birthday party.

My son taught me a lesson of contentment that day. Through the lens of social media, we thought other people must has a better life that we have. “Did you see the new picture that they posted?” sounds familiar? Single parent has much harder time since we can’t afford everything. We have to pick and choose from the long list of wants and needs. Most of the times, the needs always win and the wants are pushed back. So contentment isn’t anything fancy but a must do attitude of single parent. It will keep us going crazy and self pity. Besides, those pictures on social media are pretty and perfect because they have been chosen for a purpose. So don’t walk down the path of self pity. You can’t have a contented life until you learn not to compare. Why should you never compare? Because comparing always leads to coveting. My kid doesn’t need to sit in the first class, she is happy with a simple airplane game on my bed.

You can’t have a contented life until you learn not to compare

Love,

Singleparents101

Take back your life

Feeling under water likely? You are not alone. In the past few years, everyone has been effected by Covid one way or another. Covid waves shifts us to reevaluate our plan and priority. From the mass resignation (regardless of your personal opinion) to the transformation of the workplace, you might feel overwhelmed. However, it is also an opportunity to reinvent or reimagine your future. You are in control (believe it!!!) even you are a single parent. Take these steps to take back your life.

1. Let’s go of the past

Don’t go fishing for your hurts and pains

Step is easy said than done. Single parent has “extra” regrets than normal parents. You don’t have the second person to take the pressure off. Everything depends upon your understanding and action. You do not have another outlet or person to count on. As things pile up, mistakes happen. Also, if you still holding on to the hurt and pain of the past, it will weight on you. Whatever the reason might be, let’s it go! No one can drive forward by looking on the rear mirror. As you throw away all the guilts, hurts, pains, regrets, angers, and shame into the bottom of the lake. Don’t go back and fish them out!!! Let’s time (like water) carry them away.

2. Dream about your future self

After let’s go of your baggages, now you can dream about your future. Sit down with a cup of coffee or wine. Write down your dreams on paper. Make a simple list of all the things that you want to have or do. Start each item with a simple phrase “I….have/want….”

– I have a payoff house.

– I have a red Vespa 50cc.

– I make $120k per year.

Write down your dream list

Remember to be specific as you can. It will help you to envision your future. After making the list, organize them into timeline buckets.

• YEAR 1:…..
• YEAR 3:…..
• YEAR 5: I have a red Vespa 50cc.
• YEAR 10: I have a payoff house.

Now you have a VISION BOARD/LIST.

3. Make your vision board/ list visible

The best way to make something happen is to keep it in the forefront of your life. Why new year resolutions do not work? Because you will forget about it after awhile. So keep your track of your list by visiting it daily. Post your list where you can see. I taped my vision list on the mirror so I can read it while brushing teeth. It will be a great reminder every morning and every night. You can tape the list on the inside of your closet door (if you don’t want other to see). Even if you have bad day at work, you will get the momentum to keep going. Nothing can stop you when you aiming at your target daily. The key is to check your process often. You will make some changes, but don’t let go of your dream.

Focus on your future

If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. Keep your mind on the goals. Take back your life. Don’t let the toast and turn of this life throw you around. Keep moving forward.

Love,

Singleparents101

52 weeks saving challenge

Saving money is a game that you can play purposely. Whatever the goal is you can do it! Saving intentionally!!!

Do you find yourself living paycheck to paycheck? As single parent, it is a common issue that many of us experience. So how do you save money on purpose.

1. Create your “WHY”

When you have the goal in mind, it doesn’t mean that you can move towards it. You have to know and have a big WHY. Single parent will have many whys. But you have to narrow it down to the main reason for the goal (taking one goal at the time). Your why will keep your mind on track during the process. The WHY must be big enough that you are willing to make sacrifices.

2. Write down your GOAL

The rule is simple for this step. You want to keep your goal simple with a deadline. For the 52 week saving challenge, there are many ways that you can tackle this.

– Divide the amount that you want to save by 52. You can save the same amount automatically. You can open an saving account and set up the automatic deposit. You will achieve your goal without even thinking about it.

– Use the random formulation excel table (below). Enter the goal amount into the spreadsheet. The weekly amount will be automatically calculated. Print out the list and cross it off every week (exciting part). Create a category in your budget as the weekly amount is varies from week to week. Deposit weekly amount into a saving account. This method is great when you have other expense such as birthday or Christmas or day night dinner. You still have a life without feeling to much restricted.

52-week-saving-challege-1.xlsxDownload

3. Stick with IT

You have to stick with the plan. Every time you cross each roll off the list, you will get closer to your goal. At the end of the 52 weeks, your goal is fully funded. Every sacrifice counts. Congratulations.

Blessed Singleparents101

Welcome aboard

As a single parent, I know that you do not have much free time for yourself. Every minute of your day is precious to you and your family. So if you are reading this post, I am so grateful.

Singleparents101 is the place where we can share and learn from each other from the variety of topics. Tips and encouragements are also welcome here. Welcome to the Singleparents101 family. We are in this together.

What to do when you need to push your saving – tip of a day

This will be my shortest post but I have to put it down because someone might need this today.

I got a simple tip that need to share with the Singleparents101 community.

When I am in the mood for spending money on treats (Starbucks coffee, local bakery, boba tea…….) but I am working toward my saving goal. I just transfer the exact amount to my saving and “pretend” that I purchased it. I know it sounds crazy but it works. At least it works for me!

It does help me to put saving mode on hyper alert and suppress my spontaneous spending habit. Yes, I do miss my treats but it is a temporary pain.

Treats turn into “pleasure” in the future

Stay strong , love

Singleparents101

Rule-of-thumb budget setting

There are many ways to set a successful budget. Many economists and financial experts suggested many different budget setting strategies that can fit to your situation. Pick one and try for a couple months to see which one is the best for you. One of the most chosen budget is 50/20/30. Keep it simple !!!!

Divide your income into 3 categories:

1. 50% for essential: including rents, utilities, groceries, and healthcare. If you own a car, include car insurance, maintenance, and gas.

2. 20% for financial goals: pay down debt, save up for down payment, fund your retirement, or any saving goals

3. 30% for flexible spending: entertainment, vacation, eating out, and nonessential purchases.

Using a budget can be a powerful way to make sure you’re living within your means. You can come up with a custom made budget or just start out with the 50/20/30 suggested above. There are many apps that can help you to stick to the limits you set. I like paper and pen budget setting way more than apps. It helps to make my brain to think about my financial situation.

Why do you need to set a budget?

– see where your money goes

– limit spending

– save more

– fund goals and dreams

Simple reading and easy to do?????

Love,

Singleparents101

Recession

What is recession?

A recession refers to a time when the economy shrinks instead of grows. By definition, when GDP falls for at least two consecutive quarters, it is recession time!!!

What causes recession?

– rising interest rate: high interest rate will cause the economy to slow down.

– inflation: economy will slowdown and stop running smoothly when inflation is rising.

– Oil prices rise: sudden spike in energy such as oil price will cause inflation (historically).

– shocking events: war and unstable events will cost the disruption in the market and consumer spending. For example, the war in Ukraine, and September 11.

– Bursting bubbles: when the house price rises up more than it’s worth. The bubble will pops, it will pull down the economy. For example, the housing market bubble burst.

What happens?

– Layoff and unemployment will rise. Company will have to cut costs to stay alive.

– Stocks will fall.

– Lending will goes down. Banks will decrease lending since they are worry about the ability of people to pay off debts.

– Consumer’s confidence declines. Everyone will spend less to reserve money.

Profit falls since people spends less. Company won’t make much money.

Why understanding recession is important to you?

As single parent, more likely, you will have only 1 income. It is hard to make enough money to survive in a normal economy. It is even worse when the economy isn’t stable. So the basic of understanding of what to expect in the recession is crucial to repair for uncertainty. How to combat recession in your own economy (not outside economy)?

– Start to maximize sustainable employment. Get your resume ready and updated. Start to do simple job search to see job availability with your skills. Save it!!!

– Save more money and cut down living costs. If you don’t have any saving, start to save more money. If you have 3 months of expenses save up, save more. Usually during the recession, you will expect longer time to find jobs. So give yourself some room to breathe.

– Stay calm!!!! It is hard when you hear and news left and right. Please stay calm. Don’t make any major decision that will impact your financial situation in a long run. Stay calm. It will pass! Don’t increase debts!!!!

Loves,

Singleparents101

What is the right emergency fund for you?

What is emergency fund?

This is one of the most important questions to ask yourself before setting up an emergency fund. Emergency fund is the “rainy day “ fund that you will only use when you have an financial emergency. It has to be a true emergency that you are unable to predict or plan or delay. For example, Buying a new iPhone isn’t emergency!!! Emergency fund uses for things that you are absolutely need not want and it has to be done immediately (urgency).

Most of experts agreed that you need to put aside at least three to six months of expenses. These are a lists of all the critical expenses that you have to calculate:

– mortgage payment or rent payment (shelter)

– food (not eating out expenses)

– water bill, electric bill, internet and cellphone bills

– transportation ( car payment and insurance or bus and train fees)

– health care expenses (medical expenses and insurance)

– debts (credit card payment and personal loans)

– personal expenses

Add all of these expenses. Now you have a target number that you have to payout for each month. The goal is to save at least three to six months so you can give yourself a good cushion during the difficult situation.

You don’t need to include expenses for anything you’d cut from your budget in the event of a job loss or major catastrophe. For example:

• Entertainment
• Eating out.
• Nonessential shopping
• Vacations
• Savings goals

Usually, you do not need to save more than six months of expenses because you can find a new job or create new income during that period. However, if you are in a difficult situation such as:

– irregular incomes

– single income

– you are the main breadwinner and have dependents

– high risk of unemployment

– difficult to find employment opportunities with your specific certification or industry

– economy down turns (unemployment rate is too high and the length of unemployment is longer than usual). For example, recession.

If you are in those situations, saving more than six months of expenses is crucial. The goal is to give yourself time to get back to normal life quickly without getting into debt. Saving isn’t easy while you have millions things to do. However, you need to put saving for emergency is on the top priority. Even if you have only a few dollars to save. Start there!!! Everything counts when things are tough.

Love,

Singleparents101

Time for tiding up your finance

Inflation goes crazy everywhere (regardless of which country you are in) right now. In America, we are seeing 9% inflation. So it is time to take a hard look at your personal finance. It is time to tighten up your budget and get through this crazy time.

I feel like this sometimes

1. Reduce your gas usage:

Gas price increases likely because of many external factors. You can’t control the gas price at the pump. But you definitely can control your own usage. One of my biggest gas wasting issue is my driving habits. I usually go to at least two grocery shopping trips per week. It is before I start to work on my schedule planning and meal planning. I was not only wasting my time but also wasting gas. Since I start to plan my meal plan, I spend less time inside the store, less money on impulsive spending, and less shopping trips. I have more time to enjoy my weekend with family. Take a close look at your driving habit and start looking at ways to reduce your gas expenses.

2. Minimize restaurant spending

Eating out is one of the biggest budget killers. Lunch or dinner here and there can eat quickly into your budget without you even notice. I just did a mid-month recheck on my budget for this month. I was completely shock that I went over my budget for eating out. One of the reasons is That I forgot to add in a lunch spending bill. It was an embarrassment but also a learning lesson. Things add up quickly when you don’t pay close attention. As things get more expensive now, it is important to keep track of all the expenses and find way to cut back. For example, skip appetizers and order main course. If you really want to order appetizers, then split with another person. Skip the drink and order water ( usually free in the USA). Overall, if you can limit eating out, it still is the best option.

3. Restrict online shopping

This is one of the areas that you can take complete control. Online shopping is the most convenient way to shop but keep track of what to buy is another issue. Because of its convenient, you tend to spend more money on things that you might not even need. I fall into this trap too. You might get email reminder of the latest sale and discount from the store daily. Since it doesn’t cost much for them to send out advertisements as mail, stores send email out more frequently. Delete the email and don’t even open it. Resist yourself from temptation. If you are planning to buy things, write them down and save for it. It is easier to visualize what you need or want and have a realistic goal to buy. It will help to keep you on financial independence track.

Love,

Singleparents101

The art of being alone

Are you one of those people who likes to be alone? In this modern day, it is hard to find some alone time. You are busy running around to different activities and places. Specially, one income isn’t enough anymore. Many families have to have two incomes to be able to survive. It makes it more difficult to find some meaningful alone time to destress. On top of that, social media has exploded in the past few years. The constant checking in and buzzing makes it hard to concentrate and actually enjoy quite time. But if you enjoy being by yourself, you are pretty special for many reasons.

People thinks that you must be lonely and depressed to be alone. They think that you are anxious around people or don’t have positive feelings about life. It is a stigma attached to majority of introverts. It might reflect some true to the personality type but it is not a good explanation why some people likes and refer to be alone. More scholars believe that most of us need to spend more solitude time. It is helpful for the minds.

1. Increase creativity

When you are slowing down the pace of this busy life, you will find your inner creativity. Imagine what you can do when you have time to think about yourself, and your dream. Many things that you enjoy or good at but you have to put it into a corner because you are too busy. Find some time to find your gifts. Since we only live once, why not! Shut down the noises and find a hobby or something like that. Something that you are doing well with the least of efforts. Something that will put a smile on your face. “Just do it!!!”

2. Reflect on your values

Solitude is a great way to reflect on the importance of life. Business will always there to distract you. But keep in mind that your values are more important than anything. They are components that keep your authentic self in tach despite the influence of the outside world. I can’t stretch enough the importance of solitude in this crazy and noisy world. So spend some time on your own to reflect your life and values that you hold dearly. If you can put down on a piece of paper those values and answer why they are important to you. It will help to guide your moral compass and direct you to the right path.

Being alone isn’t being an outcast. It is an art of putting a pause on your busy schedule and direct your personal values to the right path. Ultimate challenge for you to be still and focus on your own life isn’t a lonely life but a journey that you might sometimes take alone.

Love,

Singleparents101

5 simple way to save money

Saving money is hard! Nowadays, It is easy to spend with the involving of technology. You receive instant messages and emails alert for sales and discounts on your favorite stores daily. It makes it harder to concentrate on your short and long terms goals. These tips will help you to build up your saving bank account.

1. Record your expenses

The first step to know how much you actually spend monthly. It is very hard to set a saving goal without knowing how much you have left after paying all your essential expenses. Without knowing your target, you will surely miss it every time! Once you organize your bills ( in the beginning of the month). Keep track of each expenses. Your expenses should reflect your balance on your bank account. Every coffee, tips, cash spending have to go on your tracker. Nothing goes out of your bank account without your permission!!!! You are the boss

2. Add your saving account into your budget

After step 1, now you have a clear idea of how much you are spending monthly (congratulations, you created a monthly budget!!!!). Simply add an additional “bill” to your budget. You can label it as anything that you want to save for. Keep in mind that you have to factor in some irregular expenses such as car maintenance, lawn care, and house maintenance. These fees might creep up unexpectedly. Keep your total budget in check so you don’t overspend.

3. Cut out all unnecessary expenses

This is one of the hardest step. After looking at all your expenses (including saving “bill”), find the way to cut down your expenses. Like I said before, it is easier to spend money than to save. This step will take additional effort on your part to find extra money to put away. Take a deep dive to your list of expenses and find something that you can live without or find discount on. For example, you can shop around for new cellphone plan or car insurance plan.

4. Category saving goals

If you have a long list of things to save for, list them all out. Don’t worry about how you will get there. Now, list them in the order of smallest amount to largest amount. Post it on somewhere you can see it everyday!!! It will help motivate you when things get hard. Tackle the 1st item (smallest amount) then move down the list.

5. Make saving automatically

Set and forget!!!! Most bank will let you set an automatic transfer, take advantage of this function. You can set the amount and date (like your regular bill) to transfer to your saving account. This will help you build up your saving without thinking about it. Watch your saving grow!!!